Just something I want to remember

“One thing we know about creativity,” says Marc Tucker, Head of the Washington-based National Center on Education and the Economy, “is that it typically occurs when people who have mastered two or more quite different fields use the framework in one to think afresh in the other.” Group-think is the enemy of innovation.

Rambling

I recently took part in one of those MODEL UN conferences. It made me think once again about why kids do stuff like this- is it because they are that desperate to put something on their resume?
So they research some countries, come represent who they can, talk absolute bullshit w/o realizing the large scale possibilities of what their saying and leaving feeling...satisfied?
Maybe all this is just an excuse to meet new people, network, or perhaps just get laid.

Moving on again. Do I want complete independence right now?
At 21, are you independent, circling your next plan of undecisiveness or just plain friggen bored?

Just the same blabber.

I am pathetic. Yes I am. I am trying to study for the past 2 weeks for this midterm I have on thursday. I haven't been able to get through the first chapter because I read 3 lines and get distracted for 3 hours. Horrendous.

Procrastination wins

And one more semester has gone by and I have put off my readings and it's horrible, I really really really should not have. I have a huge pol sci midterm in a few days and I'm already dreading it.

And 2 midterms on one day, an assignment and another midterm.

I don't understand why I let myself get to this position.

urgh

Disney gave me false expectations of love

Yes it's cliche but true.

I crave romance and I can't do anything about it but replay my favourite movies over and over.

I don't think anyone should grow up watching Disney anymore.

(I may take that statement back later...but for now, it stands)

In light of recent events

Sanjeev Sabhlok's blog, as I added above, has really been a plain good read for me bt I don't know if it will be to everyone else.
But for now, this is my blog and I suppose or I know rather I can say what I want here.
His recent blog and the link I've posted above is about the recent attacks on Indian students in Australia and about how the media has portrayed it. I find that I can see alot of truth in his words and I find it intriguing that he has written so honestly. Most importantly, he speaks of freedom and truth. And not of power alone.

Please read till the end, if u do start reading this.
http://sabhlok.blogspot.com/2009/05/how-justified-are-india-s-beliefs-about.html


There are some statements he's said that I truly agree with and I'm glad he's written bout them. However, I do feel its not limited to just Indians. Personally, Ive noticed them in quite a few Asian races on the whole and occassionally in others too. Not everyone is perfect at the end of the day and really there should be acknowledgement for this statement when writing public articles or when press release's are so blatantly slashed over headlines.

Anyway,here's some quotes from his blog:

"India is currently, in my view, one of the world's most racist countries. A fair skin not only gets you a better spouse (higher status husband, higher dowry from the wife, etc.) but a better job. Even in elections the fairer candidate generally receives higher votes; hence posters of candidates paint them almost pink no matter what their real complexion! Fair and Lovely creams do brisk business. But that is only the cosmetic element, no matter how deep rooted in the Indian psyche."

"The worst form of racism relates to the caste system which is in many ways based on historical differences in skin colour. Tens, if not hundreds, of people are brutally beaten/killed in inter-caste violence each year in UP and Bihar. Roughly half the population in India (if the rural people are included) deny merit a chance and give preference to someone based on caste in jobs. Tribal racism in the North East is rife. If you are a non-Khasi in Meghalaya your risk of physically being attacked by Khasi ruffians increases quite substantially, and so on across almost all parts of India. If you are a Bihari you can be beaten up in Assam, and vice versa (horrendous incidents of this nature have occurred not so long ago). And if you are a Bihari in Mumbai, then expect to be beaten up at whim (at least that is what they were threatened with not so long ago)."

"The Indian media is therefore completely wrong on this one, about calling Australia racist. In my experience, the most racist people I have met in Australia (and I've now been here for 9 1/2 years if you count my earlier stint of 1 year in '92-93) are many of the Indians who live here, not the old Australians. I have close friends among all so-called racial groups, but I have been badly shocked to find Indians speak to me in Hindi in front of their fellow workers about these 'Goras' in a derogative manner, or about 'Chinis', etc. Similarly, in USA I was shocked to find PhD students from India talk derogatively about 'Kallus' (American blacks). Indians who live abroad have this huge chip on their shoulder – racism."

"Most Indians who leave India are treated on merit and become successful and well-settled. That is why Indians are among the wealthiest single group in USA and Australia, among other places. On the other hand, in India they face caste and region discrimination their whole life. Or they must bribe their way to "success". So many have left that mess, happy to work in junior roles in the West where at least merit is recognised."

And this quote, is from his book "Breaking Free of Nehru":
“Let me give my own example. Had I migrated to India as an Australian citizen at age 41 (the age at which I came to Australia), I could never have entered government service at all for two reasons:
• no open recruitment is undertaken in India at that age; and
• non-citizens are not allowed to work in government in India anyway (in Australia, non-citizens are able to work in state government departments).
However, not only did I get a research job based on my technical statistical skills (nobody would consider me at the management level at that point!), but I was able to move into a management role after about three years."

"THE TASK OF OUR GENERATION: to demolish the concepts of race and caste

It is up to our generation to demolish these shameful concepts. I speak forthrightly thus not to condemn India or Indians generally but to set the facts straight and to ask what gives the Indian government the right to its arrogant belief that it can preach to Australia and others about racism. Express concerns about the safety of Indian students, sure! But to preach to Australia about racism. That's a total joke! Fix your own house first is what I'd recommend to India. Don't make a fool of yourself on the world stage given the huge amount of racism practiced in daily life in India today."



ID LIKE TO MAKE CLEAR THOUGH,that not everything he said should be accepted and nor do I personally accept them. There is alot more to comparing Australia and India- infact it simply cannot be done taking into consideration the great disparities. India isn't as developed or completely or even 80% educated as much as Australia is. To add to it,there are a few Australians themselves who would openly admit to their country being a bit racist. I do feel and agree with him that the whole situation should have an informed opinion, a balanced view and so articles like this or blogs as such should be made known.

Time to read the magazines on that table top near your chair

Waiting is not easy, au contraire - it's quite frustrating.

what do you do while you wait...
for something to happen
to meet someone
for a returned call..

anticipation of all the possibilities goes through your head..
what next? you count to ten, you pace up and down.

How do you justify waiting.. ? time spent well or time lost..

Discernment is another battle. I'm having serious trouble discerning what is the
Right decision to take. What's right to me may not be right to someone else and what's
right to someone else may not be right to me.

I'm hoping this wait get's over soon and the result is hopeful and good ..
it's hard not knowing what's going to happen next.

The Hoarder

so I've been doing some cleaning- spring cleaning if I can dare to call it, ever wonder
how you end up hoarding so much stuff? so many memories..?
It's tough trying to figure out how much to throw out and how much to keep? How much
to lugg around and how much to just junk.. sigh.

I've hoarded alot. It's unbelievable.. old books, old calenders .. don't ask. Old pics, old toys, old clothes, old movie tickets, concert tickets.. old bags.. pretty bags that I've liked over the years. Old shoes, old cardboard pieces of who knows what that I still say I may someday use.. haha

well starting this summer, most of its getting cleared out. Most.
and that's a promise.

only the good will remain. and entirely 'worth it.'

=)

An odd but nice poem I remembered

You Being Born - by Brian Jones

I saw you born.
It was remarkable.
You shot out from between your mother's legs
like a rugby ball from a scrum
and the stocky Geordie midwife caught you neatly
and cried 'Whoops! She's come!'

You had a wrinkled jammy head
and spasmy legs like a portly frog's.
From your belly button a white root waved
that had fed you all the months you'd grown

and ripened in your mother's womb.
And let me tell you - I'm ashamed -
I forgot your mother completely - she had been
those things to me that one day you'll discover
in someone else, and think 'God, this is it!'
- My sweetheart, my warm dear, my red hot lover -

But for those moments, as the doctor
shoved cotton wool up your flat nose
and swabbed your eyes and cleaned your bum
I forgot completely all my life and love
and watched you like a pool of growing light
and whispered to myself 'She's come! She's come!'

Don't know why, but I've always been intrigued by the writings of this poet, this
father. I found his feelings very delightful to read. And I can really feel the gush
of warmth and love and joy he's feeling. Really liked this.

*Growth and Change*

Speech by Thomas Friedman in the New York Times...

"When we were young kids growing up in America, we were
Told to eat our vegetables at dinner and not leave them.
Mothers said, think of the starving children in India
And finish the dinner."

And now I tell my children:
'Finish your homework. Think of the children in India
Who would make you starve, if you don't"

My Excuse..

My Excuse..
cos sometimes, the world gets the better of me.. as it does everyone else every so once in a while..


Everyone is allowed to be a hypocrite once in a while. Not because they want to be, but just because no matter how hard you try you can't be the person you never wanted to be all the time, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and for the entirety of your life without mistakes inevitably occurring.

-bleh-

I'm sorry but I am just having a 'bleh' day. Wtf is bleh anyway??? A time when.. no words can come out straight I guess and you wanna put it into words but of course it's not the same as bla bla..

See I just cant get to bed.. I wanna think about a whole bunch of stuff.. but I know once my head is down on that pillow, I won't stop. I'll keep connecting the dots.. the never ending stream, relating one event in my life to another- to why.. to why not.. why can't I just let it all go ??
Ok, yes I am a firm believer in constructive criticism, but exactly when does my own criticism of myself stop?

I am never at peace with myself. I see a 100 mistakes each day that I can't forgive myself for and then I go onto the next day still thinking about them.. making more along the way. Iam growing, obviously; learning what to do and what not to do.. but gah, I can't accept who I was ..or maybe who I'm becoming.

I try to weigh it out, balance it, punish myself or suffer the consequences of the bad decisions in my life.. maybe that way there's justice to the matter, or so I believe in my head.

I'm hurting. Definately.

Void

Ever feel a void?
It's a big empty space..

Do you wake all alone? And wonder where you are? - 'Slide', Goo goo dolls

You assign different people that you talk to about different issues or topics in your life.. and yet there's that one topic you just can't find the right person to talk to about that one thing. Annoying? very.

Snow

the awesomeness of your first snowfall cannot be explained. it depends on several factors- what you imagine to be that perfect moment.
the image you've seen on christmas cards, the romantic movies with lovers out in the cold, driving in a huge van looking for a cabin, snowflakes on ur eyelashes and hair.. or whatever.

one thing it truly is- Magical.

for moments all you can do is stare and smile, its glittering and sparkling at you, vague yet bright lights reflecting of the tiny ice particles all over the place .. there's jst a sense of happiness that fills you that you just can't explain.

Snow .. =)

Reality Check

So I've been told this alot.
'You need to stop caring so much about what everyone thinks'
And I've always believed I didnt but you know what I'm going to admit it .. yes I have.

Ok now you'll can all go "haha I told you so" and "oh look at her now".. but I dont care, cos as of today I really am not going to do that.

There's 3 things I love in this world, my family, my bf and my closest of friends.
There's 3 things I want to do in this world, Study and do my best in uni, Be as close as I can to the daughter my parents want me to be and always be there for my bf and when I can, for my friends.

That's it.
So, screw everything else that I've ever worried about because it's jst not worth it.

Ode to bus rides

Bus rides are fun. In school they were fun, on camps they were fun, on excursions they were fun. At WYD, they were super fun.

It's definately something I'm going to miss. I mean I dont think the next couple years of my life involves riding buses with multiple groups of people while it lasted it was awesome. For that 2-3 hour journey, you're stuck with the person next to you..so whether you like them or not is not something your neccessarily going to get to comment on.
So, you make the effort. You talk it out, bout the weirdest topics, strange or not..you don't care as long as the conversation gets going..

Our bus rides were awesome. From the airport in Sydney, to Newcastle. We sang, chanted.. laughed. The next four days involved more bus rides..more counting the number of ppl on board..more blowing of the horn from the driver to get us back on..more sightseeing..but still back to the bus. It turned out fun all the time, especially when someone got their deck of cards out.. was awesome.

Im going to miss bus rides. Alot.


[yes, this blog is about a bus ride..believe it or not]

Kriskin

... is this amazing kid who will be turning 2 on July 5th. He is my piano teacher's son and one of the most adorable kid's you will ever meet.
He know's like all the names of all the cars by looking at thier logos.. in fact when I took them for a drive he looked at my steering wheel and squealed 'misibishi' hehe.
HE IS ADORABLE. My name was the first of her student's name's he had learnt.. pronounced Jolala.. hehe which is so cute coming from him .. and guess what, he looked forward to me coming for class and considering I came a lot - that wasnt a problem. When she took him for walks.. he knew where our house was.. and our car park ..and suddenly every car park in Karama.. then became the property of Jolala... .. After class, I'd go over to his play mat and play with toys.. .. neways.. then he learnt, to say Jonthin so now we are known as Jonthin and Jolala..which is quite funny.

Anyways, yest I said goodbye to them cos they left for holiday and will only be back in September..and I wont get to see them till next year which is quite sad. I will dearly miss him.. and not just him, her too. I love my piano teacher.

omg I cant believe I had only one post in June hahahahahahaha

summer..

summer has not been fun so far.. well sometimes it has, but not mostly..
mostly it's been this bid to get things done that have been pending in my house... you know, throwing out the hoarded stuff.. the old books, new furniture (yay) .. yet Ive not woken one day feeling its holidays..
I've had so much to do.. and having a countdown honestly makes time go faster..

I do remember, an awesome dinner at Jhonny Carinos where I couldn't stop acting mad and laughing..
I remember meeting an old friend after a year and feeling good bout it.
I remember dropping my friends to the park..
Summer has been alot of driving.. and that's what Ive loved the most..
really, despite many people believing I cant, I do believe I can.. and I love it..

it's been most fun- I've gotten lost.. hahah and I wanted to take everyone on drives so I even made Jason ( a friend of mine who works in Jebel Ali) come all the way from there in his company bus till my house so I could take him for a movie n drop him home :D ooh that was fun..
The Incredible Hulk- I quite enjoyed it.. I really did infact, see, I didn't see the first one..so I had nothing to compare it with which is what made it better for me I guess - it's kinda nice not having expectations. (only to some extent, dont quote me on this one)

Summer so far, has also been shopping... and mandy becky time..which Ive wanted for sooo long.. Becky's gotten too comfy in my car..I must say. hahha!

ooh yay, I started this new blog thinking of how bad summer's been so far.. but its been pretty okay... except for the regrettable always having stuff to do argh..

Summer was... 'Edge'. heheh

Boards done

so....tana..... my boards are done.. at last.
Once again, it's been a month since Ive penned aka typed out bits of my life..

It feels like I can breathe again, and yet, not so much.
I had fun today. Jhonny Carino's was funnnnnnnnnnnnnnn fun fun

had heaps n heaps of fun and I love Barry's driving- he absolutely economise petrol though so don't bother letting him drive if u have like that 1/2 inch of petrol left :P but otherwise we're good. stuffed 8 people in his car today and laughed our asses offffff like mad people in a moving truck :P it was like our old days again, where it didn't matter what we did or where we did it as long as we all hung out together :) :D

till next time cos Im way toooo tired