*Growth and Change*

Speech by Thomas Friedman in the New York Times...

"When we were young kids growing up in America, we were
Told to eat our vegetables at dinner and not leave them.
Mothers said, think of the starving children in India
And finish the dinner."

And now I tell my children:
'Finish your homework. Think of the children in India
Who would make you starve, if you don't"

My Excuse..

My Excuse..
cos sometimes, the world gets the better of me.. as it does everyone else every so once in a while..


Everyone is allowed to be a hypocrite once in a while. Not because they want to be, but just because no matter how hard you try you can't be the person you never wanted to be all the time, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and for the entirety of your life without mistakes inevitably occurring.

-bleh-

I'm sorry but I am just having a 'bleh' day. Wtf is bleh anyway??? A time when.. no words can come out straight I guess and you wanna put it into words but of course it's not the same as bla bla..

See I just cant get to bed.. I wanna think about a whole bunch of stuff.. but I know once my head is down on that pillow, I won't stop. I'll keep connecting the dots.. the never ending stream, relating one event in my life to another- to why.. to why not.. why can't I just let it all go ??
Ok, yes I am a firm believer in constructive criticism, but exactly when does my own criticism of myself stop?

I am never at peace with myself. I see a 100 mistakes each day that I can't forgive myself for and then I go onto the next day still thinking about them.. making more along the way. Iam growing, obviously; learning what to do and what not to do.. but gah, I can't accept who I was ..or maybe who I'm becoming.

I try to weigh it out, balance it, punish myself or suffer the consequences of the bad decisions in my life.. maybe that way there's justice to the matter, or so I believe in my head.

I'm hurting. Definately.

Void

Ever feel a void?
It's a big empty space..

Do you wake all alone? And wonder where you are? - 'Slide', Goo goo dolls

You assign different people that you talk to about different issues or topics in your life.. and yet there's that one topic you just can't find the right person to talk to about that one thing. Annoying? very.

Snow

the awesomeness of your first snowfall cannot be explained. it depends on several factors- what you imagine to be that perfect moment.
the image you've seen on christmas cards, the romantic movies with lovers out in the cold, driving in a huge van looking for a cabin, snowflakes on ur eyelashes and hair.. or whatever.

one thing it truly is- Magical.

for moments all you can do is stare and smile, its glittering and sparkling at you, vague yet bright lights reflecting of the tiny ice particles all over the place .. there's jst a sense of happiness that fills you that you just can't explain.

Snow .. =)

Reality Check

So I've been told this alot.
'You need to stop caring so much about what everyone thinks'
And I've always believed I didnt but you know what I'm going to admit it .. yes I have.

Ok now you'll can all go "haha I told you so" and "oh look at her now".. but I dont care, cos as of today I really am not going to do that.

There's 3 things I love in this world, my family, my bf and my closest of friends.
There's 3 things I want to do in this world, Study and do my best in uni, Be as close as I can to the daughter my parents want me to be and always be there for my bf and when I can, for my friends.

That's it.
So, screw everything else that I've ever worried about because it's jst not worth it.

Ode to bus rides

Bus rides are fun. In school they were fun, on camps they were fun, on excursions they were fun. At WYD, they were super fun.

It's definately something I'm going to miss. I mean I dont think the next couple years of my life involves riding buses with multiple groups of people while it lasted it was awesome. For that 2-3 hour journey, you're stuck with the person next to you..so whether you like them or not is not something your neccessarily going to get to comment on.
So, you make the effort. You talk it out, bout the weirdest topics, strange or not..you don't care as long as the conversation gets going..

Our bus rides were awesome. From the airport in Sydney, to Newcastle. We sang, chanted.. laughed. The next four days involved more bus rides..more counting the number of ppl on board..more blowing of the horn from the driver to get us back on..more sightseeing..but still back to the bus. It turned out fun all the time, especially when someone got their deck of cards out.. was awesome.

Im going to miss bus rides. Alot.


[yes, this blog is about a bus ride..believe it or not]