Very recently, a young girl died at our school due to heart problems that were (as I have heard) hereditary. How does one cope with a loss like that?
All I can do is pray for her mum .. who has lost her husband, 2 sons and now her only daughter to the same 'hereditary' problem. What stood out about her is her uniqueness, and her kindness.. everyone who misses her have spoken about it.
This made me thing of other people I've lost..
Just the November before last, I had a close friend who passed away. I missed him soo much, cos he'd take my brother and I to church every saturday in his car, he was only 21.. everything he had done in his life... he had done himself. He passed away due to Cancer. I still miss him, when I pass his house, when I see his mum, when I see his brother, when I see any Peugeot 307 infact... I love him as a person. He never knew when his life would be over, it was always an uncertain day- anything could happen any time. He was amazing, so humble, he never complained about what he went through... people who knew his story ..I think they saw him differently .. but minus that he was just like any of my friends.. wanting to go out to the same places... what stood out was his love for God though. It was different from any other friend I've known and it made him love himself and everyone else in a unbiased unjudgmental way.
Last summer, I lost my grandma, and I miss her so much. When I was young I used to write to her and fill the page with 'I love you's' that Meant So Much. In every 'I love you' there was an I miss you included and a hug... and the smell of her that I missed so much. She was amazing.. well to me =) She still is.. I know she prays for me.. I know she is proud of me.. I forget her sometimes.. in the course of my mundane life.. but she doesn't forget me. I'm sure. When she left us, it felt like the end of a huge era.. yet the next day life went on.. cars moved.. birds flew.. sun was shining.. it was tough. We were there by her side all the time when we went to visit. What I saw was incredible- the relationship between my mum and her mum. Growing up, she took care of my mum, and now it was my mum who was taking care of her. It was a beautiful thing to see. I can't even explain it. There was a conection between them.. that was remarkable. Now she's gone but I'm never going to forget any of this. What stood out about her was she was Always giving.. to anyone, everyone.. she had the biggest heart and she did Everything for her family. And I'm not just saying that, even her local butcher, shopkeeper, shoe seller - they all respected her because she made the effort to be kind to all of them. I love her. Anything I did to upset her, I wish I hadn't.
Here's to the people we've loved and lost due to the inevitable.
I want to have 'what stood out about me'.. factors one day too. I don't want to be just another.. somebody. I hope I can accomplish that somehow somewhere along the way.
(p.s- i love you nana)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Past
Okay, here's the blog where I actually blog, cos I feel like just speaking my mind and I'm in a somewhat calm state compared to my usual disposition and I'm able to to take in my surroundings.
The past two months have been a blur, I really don't know where I've been or what I've been doing. I don't know what I've eaten, can't remember what I've read, don't remember where I drove, don't remember going to class, can't figure out what I taught the kids, can't remember who came for piano classes, don't remember playin the piano and don't remember what I did on weekends. Oddly, though, all that I've mentioned is all that I've done in the last 2 months. Where has my mind been?
In this other galaxy. Meaning, I've done exactly what I'm Not supposed to do. I've worried. I've thought about the past sooo many times. A good blog of Ritesh's that I particularly like, (http://withoutanoilwell.blogspot.com/2008/03/dwell-in-past.html) speaks about how we dwell so much in the past, and I found the reason why I've been doing it- the answer too is in his blog,
"It's not easy not to dwell in your past that you hope is your present and remains your future forever. The whole fact that one wants to live in the past is because the present is not one bit he/she wants it to be." (courtesy Ritesh J.)
Again, ironically enough I replied to that blog commenting that I did dwell in the past and sought to change so I don't miss out on the future and here I am admitting defeat to what's hardly as capable as I think. I referred to a quote(sticker) that says:
'sometimes we need to analyzing the [past]..stop planning the [future]..stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel...stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel...Sometimes we just have to go with whatever happens, happens.'
Putting it more into perspective- I don't agree with the above statement completely. Yes we can't dwell soo much that we lose out on the present as noted. But we do need to stop and smell the roses.. or so to speak, stop and take in what's going on. You shouldnt decide what your heart should feel, let it decide for you.. most of the time it's right. You can't always go with 'whatever happens, happens' because according to the great William Tell (nt sure of this, I may be wrong) it is the only way to be 'masters of our fate, captain of or souls'...
I guess it does matter though, that I do recognise what I've been doing and recognise that the time I've spent dwelling on the past is time that Could Have been spent to better my future.
...
and so I will make more effort to shorten that 'added' waste of time.
The past two months have been a blur, I really don't know where I've been or what I've been doing. I don't know what I've eaten, can't remember what I've read, don't remember where I drove, don't remember going to class, can't figure out what I taught the kids, can't remember who came for piano classes, don't remember playin the piano and don't remember what I did on weekends. Oddly, though, all that I've mentioned is all that I've done in the last 2 months. Where has my mind been?
In this other galaxy. Meaning, I've done exactly what I'm Not supposed to do. I've worried. I've thought about the past sooo many times. A good blog of Ritesh's that I particularly like, (http://withoutanoilwell.blogspot.com/2008/03/dwell-in-past.html) speaks about how we dwell so much in the past, and I found the reason why I've been doing it- the answer too is in his blog,
"It's not easy not to dwell in your past that you hope is your present and remains your future forever. The whole fact that one wants to live in the past is because the present is not one bit he/she wants it to be." (courtesy Ritesh J.)
Again, ironically enough I replied to that blog commenting that I did dwell in the past and sought to change so I don't miss out on the future and here I am admitting defeat to what's hardly as capable as I think. I referred to a quote(sticker) that says:
'sometimes we need to analyzing the [past]..stop planning the [future]..stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel...stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel...Sometimes we just have to go with whatever happens, happens.'
Putting it more into perspective- I don't agree with the above statement completely. Yes we can't dwell soo much that we lose out on the present as noted. But we do need to stop and smell the roses.. or so to speak, stop and take in what's going on. You shouldnt decide what your heart should feel, let it decide for you.. most of the time it's right. You can't always go with 'whatever happens, happens' because according to the great William Tell (nt sure of this, I may be wrong) it is the only way to be 'masters of our fate, captain of or souls'...
I guess it does matter though, that I do recognise what I've been doing and recognise that the time I've spent dwelling on the past is time that Could Have been spent to better my future.
...
and so I will make more effort to shorten that 'added' waste of time.
Better
Everyday the doubts build up,
the questions never stop.
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
Will I make it through?
Do I have what it takes to get by?
Am I really geared for what awaits me?
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
Can I survive on my own?
Am I capable of making decisions without facing serious repercussions?
The doubt has built up so much that it starts to seep into my thoughts,
CAN 'I' do it?
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
Your pulling me up for every little thing,
You dont think I can handle the inevitable.
You dont pull me from the wreckage,
You push me down further, and then stand on top,
watching me struggle out.
Which I can do...
but then again,
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
You've always wanted her.
I've felt it from the look in your eyes.
So it wasn't new to my ears when you said it out loud.
But, I was suprised you did say it out loud.
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
You want me to be her.
Smart, Obedient, Attentive, Diligent,
Perfect in every way- in your eyes.
The one you never had.
but I won't. I am me.
Although,
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
I met you...
and I've been driven to be better than her
but in my own way.
the questions never stop.
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
Will I make it through?
Do I have what it takes to get by?
Am I really geared for what awaits me?
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
Can I survive on my own?
Am I capable of making decisions without facing serious repercussions?
The doubt has built up so much that it starts to seep into my thoughts,
CAN 'I' do it?
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
Your pulling me up for every little thing,
You dont think I can handle the inevitable.
You dont pull me from the wreckage,
You push me down further, and then stand on top,
watching me struggle out.
Which I can do...
but then again,
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
You've always wanted her.
I've felt it from the look in your eyes.
So it wasn't new to my ears when you said it out loud.
But, I was suprised you did say it out loud.
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
then I met you.
You want me to be her.
Smart, Obedient, Attentive, Diligent,
Perfect in every way- in your eyes.
The one you never had.
but I won't. I am me.
Although,
I used to know where I was going,
I used to think I could be something,
I met you...
and I've been driven to be better than her
but in my own way.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
A dedication to his father
http://www.arsenal.com/article.asp?thisNav=News&article=491323&lid=NewsHeadline&Title=Wenger+moves+to+bring+Vela+into+the+Arsenal+fold
Carlos Vela
Carlos Alberto Vela Garrido (born March 1, 1989 in Cancún, Quintana Roo) is a Mexican football player who plays for Osasuna on loan from Arsenal. He predominantly plays as a winger, although Arséne Wenger has described him as more of a striker similar to Eduardo.
Named by British tabloid The Sun as one of the 20 young players to watch in 2008 [2], Carlos Vela is the younger brother of Alejandro Vela, who plays for Jaguares in the Mexican football league. Vela's career started with Guadalajara, alongside his brother. Even though he had not made his debut on Chivas' first division team, his big break came when he participated in the U-17 World Cup with the Mexican national team. Vela helped the Mexican team win the 2005 FIFA U-17 World Championship against other promising teams, including Brazil. He became a pivotal figure during the match against Brazil, by defeating the South American team 3-0 during the tournament's final. Along the conclusion of the 2005 World Cup in Peru, Vela was named the top scorer of the tournament with 5 goals and claimed the Adidas Golden Boot. Eventually after the World Cup, Jorge Vergara, owner and president of Chivas de Guadalajara, offered to sign him, and, since the Vela family lived in the then-recently-storm-stricken Cancún, Quintana Roo, Carlos Vela asked that as a condition to his signing with Guadalajara, the club also help relocate his family. He had also previously showed his great affection to his father, whose birthday fell on the day on which Mexico beat Brazil in the final for the World Cup, by carrying the cup to his father as a birthday present and dedicating his Golden Boot to him
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Vela
Another reason why I love Arsenal
Our players have character
Carlos Vela
Carlos Alberto Vela Garrido (born March 1, 1989 in Cancún, Quintana Roo) is a Mexican football player who plays for Osasuna on loan from Arsenal. He predominantly plays as a winger, although Arséne Wenger has described him as more of a striker similar to Eduardo.
Named by British tabloid The Sun as one of the 20 young players to watch in 2008 [2], Carlos Vela is the younger brother of Alejandro Vela, who plays for Jaguares in the Mexican football league. Vela's career started with Guadalajara, alongside his brother. Even though he had not made his debut on Chivas' first division team, his big break came when he participated in the U-17 World Cup with the Mexican national team. Vela helped the Mexican team win the 2005 FIFA U-17 World Championship against other promising teams, including Brazil. He became a pivotal figure during the match against Brazil, by defeating the South American team 3-0 during the tournament's final. Along the conclusion of the 2005 World Cup in Peru, Vela was named the top scorer of the tournament with 5 goals and claimed the Adidas Golden Boot. Eventually after the World Cup, Jorge Vergara, owner and president of Chivas de Guadalajara, offered to sign him, and, since the Vela family lived in the then-recently-storm-stricken Cancún, Quintana Roo, Carlos Vela asked that as a condition to his signing with Guadalajara, the club also help relocate his family. He had also previously showed his great affection to his father, whose birthday fell on the day on which Mexico beat Brazil in the final for the World Cup, by carrying the cup to his father as a birthday present and dedicating his Golden Boot to him
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Vela
Another reason why I love Arsenal
Our players have character
My fav football team
so ..to everyone else's great joy and pride and ofcourse, in the name of team spirit.. they'll be more than happy to remind me how Arsenal didn't win the the Premier league and will definately be not winning the Champions League either. But you know what I still support them.
here are just a few reasons why:
1. They Do play good football
2. They do perform well as a team... - yes we did have an overdose of Henry staging everything but they still played briliant when he left. The fact that they were in first place through the beginning of the 2007-2008 season is enough proof of that.
3. They do Not boast the enormity of their club name .. boast being the key word, pride is a different issue.
4. They have Arsene Wenger- pillar of football histoire and miraculous at coaching.
5. Most imp reason: They are a family. I honestly dont see that zeal or look of .. lets kill the other team in their eyes. Yes it may not bring as many trophies home but I think they do a darn good job being a member of the big 4 (Man U, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool).
I really feel this awe when I watch them play.. they enjoy the game, play from their heart, they are like a band of brothers in unison out there.. I jst cant help but love them :)
(note: my blog, my opinion) - not backed by facts :D
here are just a few reasons why:
1. They Do play good football
2. They do perform well as a team... - yes we did have an overdose of Henry staging everything but they still played briliant when he left. The fact that they were in first place through the beginning of the 2007-2008 season is enough proof of that.
3. They do Not boast the enormity of their club name .. boast being the key word, pride is a different issue.
4. They have Arsene Wenger- pillar of football histoire and miraculous at coaching.
5. Most imp reason: They are a family. I honestly dont see that zeal or look of .. lets kill the other team in their eyes. Yes it may not bring as many trophies home but I think they do a darn good job being a member of the big 4 (Man U, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool).
I really feel this awe when I watch them play.. they enjoy the game, play from their heart, they are like a band of brothers in unison out there.. I jst cant help but love them :)
(note: my blog, my opinion) - not backed by facts :D
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Intuition
Intuition is the act by which the mind perceives the agreement or disagreement of two ideas. When using only intuition, the truth of the proposition is immediately known right then, the moment it is presented. This is without the intervention of other ideas or deductive reasoning.
Intuition differs from opinion in the sense that intuition is a way of experiencing, while opinion is based on experience. Intuition also differs from instinct, which does not necessarily have the experiential element at all. A person who has an intuitive basis for an opinion probably cannot fully explain immediately why he or she holds that view. However, a person may try to justify an intuitive decision by developing a chain of logic to demonstrate more structurally why the decision is valid - Wikipedia
It is "the immediate apprehension of an object by the mind without the intervention of any reasoning process" [Oxford English Dictionary].
I think intuition is in us all.. and if we listened to it more we could make better decisions. But most of the time we're too scared becos we don't knw where its cming from.. I mean noone else has said it, or observed it, its just like an omnious hunch you have and you suspect something may go wrong if you dont listen to it..
I quite like it. I've found on several occasions when I haven't heeded it- I've fallen out or lost something..
So from now on I'm going to try it more.
(Note: This is different from conscience.)
Intuition differs from opinion in the sense that intuition is a way of experiencing, while opinion is based on experience. Intuition also differs from instinct, which does not necessarily have the experiential element at all. A person who has an intuitive basis for an opinion probably cannot fully explain immediately why he or she holds that view. However, a person may try to justify an intuitive decision by developing a chain of logic to demonstrate more structurally why the decision is valid - Wikipedia
It is "the immediate apprehension of an object by the mind without the intervention of any reasoning process" [Oxford English Dictionary].
I think intuition is in us all.. and if we listened to it more we could make better decisions. But most of the time we're too scared becos we don't knw where its cming from.. I mean noone else has said it, or observed it, its just like an omnious hunch you have and you suspect something may go wrong if you dont listen to it..
I quite like it. I've found on several occasions when I haven't heeded it- I've fallen out or lost something..
So from now on I'm going to try it more.
(Note: This is different from conscience.)
Ive been missed..
It's been more than a month since Ive blogged due to everything in my head being in overdrive but now I'm back and I've missed it..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
